The Coburn Blog

I am planning on taking Speech 101 in the fall, so I’ve been putting together some of my thoughts about what I’m going to speak about.

I think, the first speech I’m going to talk about, is a brief overview of myself and what I’ve had to deal with in my life. I spoke to the Disabilities Coordinator out at Ivy Tech, and he was saying its very common for students with disabilities to get up in front of class, to explain to the class what living life with that persons disability is like, so I’ve been working on a speech about that so its ready for the fall semester.

I think one of the main highlights I definitely want to talk about. I was on a mailing list earlier today, talking to a lady who also has CRS, and she was talking about having a hard time accepting going completely blind. I never have understood why people are so afraid of going completely blind. I read an article once a few years ago, that statistically speaking, most people are afraid of loosing their vision, then anything else, including their mind, hearing, or loss of limb, and I think thats just terrible that a person depends more on their eyesight then anything else in life.

I know when I did start loosing more of my vision due to Glaucoma, I felt scared, but scared that, at my age, I would not be able to learn what it is that I need to learn in order to get around and all that without assistance, but I have never been afraid of going blind.

Once I started going thru Independant Living Skills training, I no longer had that fear, because as I got going in it, and spoke to people like myself, I realized how much I can still do, and how going blind is not that bad… Also, growing up at a Blind school, made me feel more accepted around the other students, because in public school I had such a hard time making friends, at the blind school I felt more accepted and was able to make friends, where at public school I always had trouble because everyone just made fun of me all the time and I never made any friends with anyone.

I think one thing being born with CRS has taught me over the years, above all else, is alot of people in this world depend on their eyesight way too much.. I watch how most people around me look at, and complain, about eye color, skin tone, how much or little makeup a person has on, pimples on a persons face, fret about freckles, how heavy/skinny a person looks, I could go on and on, and it saddens me, saddens me that so many people depend too much on their eyesight, like it runs their entire lives what they, and other people around them, look like.

One thing that a lot of people don’t know about me, I may be partially sighted, but I have never been able to see a persons eye color, hair color very well, facial features like pimples, marks, freckles, eyelashes, eyebrows, lips, things in great detail like that. In fact, most of the time, I can’t tell who people are from one person to another, no matter how close or far away from that person I am.. Guys are easier to tell apart from one another, because they usually keep the same hair style, but women, since there always changing their hair styles, color, hair length, etc on sometimes a daily basis (which still blows my mind why they do that), if I went solely on looks, I wouldn’t be able to tell one woman from another, and alot of times I don’t, like my cousin Jennifer since I only see her once a year, every time I see her she looks like a completely different person to me. They would all look identical to me, but I can still tell one person from another, I can always tell its my cousin Jennifer for instance, just by listening to the sound of their voice, the smell of their cologne/perfume, even the sound of their walk.

Take this as an example, One time, I didn’t see my cousin Jennifer for 3 years, but when I did see her at my brothers wedding, she turned into a blond, and normally I would not have known who she was, she could have been my brothers wife for all I knew, hehe, but I knew it was her EVEN BEFORE she approached me.. know how?? check this out. Even as loud as it was in the reception hall, I could hear the sound of her footsteps approaching me, I could smell the perfume she always wears (yes even after 3 years) every person has a unique smell even when that person changes perfume or cologne types, plus when she actually said “hi Tom” I recognized the sound of her voice, yes even after 3 years. My sense of hearing, touch, and smell have always been that good, ever since I can remember, and thats how I do it, thats how I can tell who people are from one another, even when its been years since I’ve seen that person. I did the same thing with my cousin Krissie the other day on my dads side. Again, every time I see her she looks like a different person to me, but I could tell who she was before she even said hi to begin with, because I could smell her as she walked past me, the sound she makes with her feet make a different sound then what other people make, and the sound of her voice never changes, so again, I could tell it was her even after 5 years of seeing her.. Its been longer then that since I’ve seen my step-mom’s side of the family, yet I can do it with all that side of the family too, well the immediate family anyway. My cousin Nickie for instance, I don’t think I could ever forget the sound of her voice, ugh, hehe, but again, I probably haven’t seen her in close to 10 years, unless it was at Christmas but I haven’t been to the laslie christmas in probably about that long, because we always have to take angie back home before we head on to my moms, but I bet I could still find her in a big crowd of people. hehe betcha a million dollars I could. hehe Being blind actually has its advantages sometimes.

my point is, sometimes I wish more people in the world understood what its like to be completely blind. Maybe then, they would understand and not try to go by looks so much in their own personal lives. I don’t mean to offend anyone, don’t get me wrong, I’m just saying I think its just sad that so many people fear loosing sight, and look at me like they feel so sorry for me, when I think being blind was the best thing that ever happened to me. Its made me the kind hearted person I am today, who can see right thru anybody. Its my lack of vision that gave me that insight into other peoples hearts. Going blind is really not that bad people..

let me put it this way, even if you can’t see your kids anymore, you can still hug them, you can still hear their voices speaking to you, you can still hold their hand… I mean seriously, its not that bad. Its just, Society has put so much emphasis on looks in this world, from magazines and TV, that everyone thinks appearance is most important, rather it be weight, cosmetics, or other such things, and I think ALL of that way of thinking is pure rubbish, because who says a woman who is 600 lbs isn’t as beautiful as someone who is 110. Who sets the rules? Looks don’t mean anything to me, its all about personality. Its all about choices, When a person feels scared they choose to be that way,

In this life, I’ve always felt that a person can either choose to live, or choose to die, life is what you make of it. There is nothing in this life worth worrying about , I don’t think.. Dying is something to celebrate in my view, because it means a new beginning to a better place, while living is also something to celebrate, to cherish what time we have left with the ones we love while we can.. Going blind doesn’t change any of that. Its not worse then having Cancer, Its not worse then being Deaf or mentally retarded like the government thinks it is, its not any of those things. Its no wonder some people are so scared to talk to me sometimes. I think being blind was the best gift God ever gave me.

I see the world differently then most people do, even differently then those who are completely blind, and although having a disability affects everyone differently, I think for me, it was the best thing that ever happened to me, and I’m not ashamed of myself for that. I feel proud of the man I grew up to become, and if anyone has any negative comments about that, screw ‘em, because its not what other people think of me that matters, its what I think of myself.. Worrying, stress, pressure, those are all life choices, its how we handle them that creates our character, the person we turn out to be in the end, and that too affects how other people look at us, more then anything else really, not looks.