The Coburn Blog

Hey guys, check this out.

Crohns Academic Scholarship

UBC is offering 30, one-time scholarships for those diagnosed with Crohns Disease. 30, $10,000 scholarships, will be awarded to qualified applicants, who show an egar intrest who are entering college. Applications must be postmarked by May 18th, 2007, and must be signed up for spring or fall classes. I’m gonna try for this…

Only thing is, I need letters of recommendation from either college professors, friends, or family, explaining why I would be a good candidate for the program.

I was talking to my mom on the phone the other day, about attending IPFW. Her only concern about IPFW, is the cost, because I guess she was saying its very expensive to live in the dorm. If the cost is too much, I won’t do it, but anyway, she was going to talk to a lady she knows at Ivy Tech, because my mom was saying I may only have to take a couple classes there to get my associates… I don’t know, I’d still like to get my bachelors, that way I can get any job I wanted, and I’m not too partial about Ivy Tech after the crap they put me thru the last time, but then again, there’s also ITT Technical Institute, International Business College, Indiana Tech, Purdue up in Lafayette, a plethora of choices.. I guess it would really help if I knew for sure how much I was going to be getting between FAFSA and VR..

but if worse comes to worse, if I don’t get the scholarship, then VR will pay for my schooling, along with any transportation needs that I may have.. They’ll pay Susan 40 cents a mile to transport me to school and back, but like Susan was saying, I’ll have to be full-time in order to get FAFSA government aid, and she won’t be able to take me to school and back most of the time. She has a hard enough time driving up there once a week, because she wakes up so early in the morning and all, but I figure, if Susan can’t take me, then its VR’s responsibility to arrange transporation for me, so either way I won’t have to worry about transporation, OR the blackboard, because if I need someone to enter class with me, which I do, then VR will pay for someone to take that class with me, if thats what it takes.

I just know from past experiences with Ivy Tech, that they are real buttholes about letting u do that.. My mom ended up having to pay tuition costs to take accounting 101 with me so I could pass that course, because I failed that course 5 times because I couldn’t see the blackboard, and from what I understand, things have not changed that much on that. but anyways, my old counselor from Ft Wayne, Tom, kept recommending I attend IPFW back when I was in my early 20’s, because he knew from personal experiences working at the disabled department of IPFW, that IPFW is really good about providing a notetaker for you, from one of the volinteers, which personally I think ALL schools should do, but anyway he told me, that IPFW is really good about that, and tried to push me to goto IPFW back when I was in my 20’s, so I keep thinking, ya know, maybe I should this time, ya know?

My mom just keeps saying that jobs are scarce today no matter if you have a degree or not, but like I was telling her….”thats true, BUT, if VR is going to be funding my college anyway for the next 2-3 years, why not just go for it all..” ya know what I mean? She kept asking me why VR was so interested in sending me back to school for.. well duh mom, because I’m trying to find full-time employment in CIS, and a person can’t exactally do that without a degree.

I applied for hundreds of jobs thru Anthony Wayne Services, all here in Warsaw, and all were in the Computer Science field, so I know for a fact the jobs are out there, but while I was applying, every company I applied for, told me I had no chance of getting hired without either a Degree, or a Certification in something, which neither one I have, so, what did she expect VR to say about that?

My mom just wants me to quit my job and live on Social Security the rest of my life, thats what alot of it is, and she means well, but what she doesn’t seem to understand, is Susan is approaching retirement age, and once she retires, we won’t have any income. How does she expect us to live?

I can’t get Social Security, because Susan and I combined have more then $3,000 in 401k, which alone makes us uneligible. Even Stat Blind status, total household income has to be under $1,400 a month, before taxes, which Susan and I now make more then that… not much more, its like right on the border line, but still too much, so I don’t even qualify for that, even if I were to loose my job I still wouldn’t qualify for any of that because of Susans income. Social Security is determined by “total household income”, not just mine, so either Susan and I would have to get a divorce, or we don’t qualify, so I can’t go that route. Besides, who wants to live off the government if yer very much capible of working a full time job..

That’s the whole reason the state of Indiana appointed VR services to begin with, to get people OFF social security.. The State of Indiana, funds all this stuff, to get the disabled off social security and into full-time stable emplyment, thats what they do, and thats why I’m involved in it… VR stands for Vocational Rehabilitation, its entirely State funded, so they pay for things that I need to achieve full-time employment… Things like schooling, glasses, living skills training for the blind and disabled, mobility training to teach you how to get aound by yourself, things like that. Its very cool, and I’ve been working with VR on this finding me stable full-time employment for over 13 years now.. They even have job placement services, to assist me in getting placed in a job that best fits me, so I don’t even have to hunt thru the newspaper for jobs, they do that for me too.. Its the coolest thing.

I don’t know, I just don’t see what the big deal is in trying to get my college diploma is all.. My mom is flat out against it, and my dad and everyone else encourages it..

I just feel like this is another one of those tests that God is putting me thru, to see how I will react. I can tell you guys right now how I’m reacting to it. I WILL get my degree, no mater what anyone says, not even my mom. Don’t get me wrong, I love my mom with all my heart, and I know she means well, but she just doesn’t understand how much we are struggling as it is, and without a degree, I have absolutely no chance at all at bettering my situation. Since I’m the only one that can do something about it, its my decision, and I say, I’m going….:)

Its gonna be hard, esp if I have to take English or macoecon or some other weird class, but there are always tutors, readers for the blackboard, there are tons of options, esp for the visually impaired, but I know I can do it… I guess I just get tired of being put down about it, when all I’m trying to do is better myself and my situation the only way I know how… If I don’t, at least, try, then I’ve already failed before I even start.. Even if I don’t find a job with it, my chances are better with it, then without. Least this way I have a chance…

I can’t let myself fail this time.. I made the worse decision of my life back when I was in High school, to not accept that Scholarship to Cuninary Arts in Rhoad Island. Then, I let my mom talk me out of going to DeVry, or Purdue, and going to Ivy Tech instead, and look where it got me? no degree, crappy job I absolutely hate with a passion, and a bad credit rating that I can’t get out of without a better job. This time, Its MY decision…. and I’m NOT going to fail this time.

Besides, it wasn’t just me, my Blind training instructor was the one who pushed VR to give me a chance at going back to school, it was her opinion that sending me back to school would benefit me and my current life situation, I know there are people with Bachlers and Masters degrees out of work too, but if a computer position opens up somewhere, and I apply with no degree at all, and someone else with an associates or bachlers, who do you think there going to interview first?? exactally, the person with the degree.. and there going to send me packing, without even an interview at all, because I have no degree, and thats whats been happening to me now.. I’ve applied for hundreds of jobs, so I know the jobs are out there, rather a person gets the job or not depends on if they like what you say in the interview, or like your appearance and all that, so I know its not all about the degree, but the degree is what gets you either the interview, or at least a second loon, is my point… without a degree, the resume just gets thrown right in the trash… but ya know moms, always overprotective, esp with me, cuz she knows how hard of a time I have keeping jobs, which is just another good reason why i need a degree, because otherwise, I’ll be hopping thru jobs the rest of my life, and living on Social Security the rest of yer life is not an acceptable alternative. Social Security only pays $600 a month, or if your stat blind it slightly higher but not much.. Who do you know who can live on $600 a month? even without kids, nobody can live on that, not even a single person… I dunno about family sometimes, they mean well, and I value my moms opinion greatly,  but I am not helpless!! I am fully capible of doing anything I put my mind to, and I think thats the lesson that God is trying to teach me, to remind me what my great-grandma used to say to me before she died, about not letting people walk all over you, and don’t let other people tell you what you can and cannot do..  I may not have a very well spoken voice, but I am most certainly capible of getting a college degree,  bachlers, masters, even Doctrine if I so desire,  but I’m not letting nobody tell me what I am and am not capible of doing, esp when they don’t see me everyday 24 hours a day, they don’t know how much I’ve learned already, and what all I am capible of learning for the future.